Heavenly Beverley : The Case of the Beastly Beagle...

Sunday 6 March 2016

The Case of the Beastly Beagle...

When I was younger, having been born during the time of the dinosaurs, I absolutely adored reading Enid Blyton's stories. I wasn't much into "The Secret Seven", but I devoured "The Famous Five" and all those jolly good school tales which consisted of scrapes and midnight feasts and fast friendships forged through fairly innocent adversity.

My favourite adjective from these books was "beastly". Someone would exclaim "oh, what beastly luck" or "that beastly bully" or "such beastly weather" and I knew exactly how that particular character felt.

I was reminded of the term "beastly" this morning. Shuffling half-asleep to the loo, I was greeted by the unspeakable sight of one of Ruby the Beagle's most treasured canapes - an aged dog pooh - on the laundry floor. She had brought one inside and cheerfully depositied it onto Sascha's bedding. Sascha had shown her disgust by dragging the offensive cushion into the middle of the lino. Oh goody.

I resolved to deal with the Beagle's latest misdemeanour after another hour's sleep. Having gone through the five stages of grief, we finally accepted that we would have to get out of bed. I prepared to tackle the Unmentionable in the laundry whilst all three dogs were having their morning treats. Michael gallantly made my tea and his coffee. Glancing out of the kitchen window, he was greeted by the sight of the north end of a south travelling Beagle. She had dug under the fence in order to escape into the Wide Blue Yonder.

Michael bellowed "Oi, BEAGLE" in the direction of the dreadful dog. As ever, she trotted back innocently, with the usual vacant happy expression on her face. Under the fence. Back into the house where she was promptly tied up and Confined To Barracks. With mellow acceptance, she retired to her bunk.

The fence is beginning to resemble Fort Knox. When Michael discovers a new excavation, he piles broken bricks into the Trusty Trailer and tips them into the offending escape route on the fenceline. Lately, we've been so caught up in the Gallery, Michael hasn't had a chance to patrol the boundary. Hence, the latest site has gone unattended for some time. That will have to change in the near future.

And the next occasion Ruby escapes, she will either be sprung by us or will return exhausted, filthy and thirsty after another adventure. And the result will be the same - she will be tied up. Which she appears not to give a toss about.

Will the Case of the Beastly Beagle be easily solved? A chance between zero and Buckley's. Please remember us in your prayers. We need all the help we can get!