Michael has turned 66. And today was Fathers' Day, so we indulged ourselves in a luncheon presented by new owners Kerry, Graham and John at the Freemasons Tavern. We enjoyed a delicious meal of Chicken Involtini, followed by Tiramisu. After the cold and rain of Wednesday and Thursday, the weather turned on sun, a gradual warming and little wind. Just wonderful. Michael is now the proud recipient of a Hawaiian shirt and six new pairs of jocks with suitably colourful waistbands. Many thanks to Stella, Pip, Chop, Suey and Red the parrot for his gift suggestions.
Wednesday, the first day of Spring, was particularly inclement. Sheets of rain, accompanied by bitter cold were not ideal for any outdoor activities, so we chose to go to the Big Smoke. I thought I had nailed an excellent deal and an easy transition of Michael's new whiz bang laptop from Harvey Norman's Joondalup store to Jason, our computer guru to the stars. The device itself seemed perfect, with all the bells and whistles that Michael would require to play endlessly with his photos. And, supposedly, three hundred dollars off the recommended price. What could possibly go wrong?
Given our usual poverty, I had taken up using Latitude Pay to purchase said computer. Buy now, pay later. The deal was signed and sealed online. Michael was very impressed with my surprising technical prowess. We arrived in Joondalup and I duly took delivery of the unit. We then drove to Navada Computers to deliver the new laptop and the two corpses to Jason.
Handover completed, we returned to the mega Lakeside Shopping Centre for me to undertake the necessary chore of supermarket shopping. Plus secret woman's and pets' business sourcing Michael's birthday and Father's Day presents. Michael decided to come into the centre to stay warm. We were about to part company when I received a phone call from Jason. He couldn't turn Michael's new Acer on...
After some discussion, Michael, with Google Maps on his mobile, set off to Navada again. He picked up the computer from Jason with little fuss and prepared to return it to Harvey Norman. Except he then became lost. I had reminded him that we did have a street directory in the car, which he didn't use.
Eventually, with much gnashing of teeth and intemperate words, Michael did locate Harvey Norman. The frazzled shop assistant expressed frustration at having to explain to another customer that the connection to power had to be inserted a certain way and pushed firmly into place. With this knowledge, Michael set off to return the laptop to Navada.
A straightforward fifteen minute drive turned into over an hour of more involuntary touring through the north eastern suburbs of Perth. Needless to say, there was a furious furore from Michael, expletives and tooth-grinding rising to a fevered pitch. In the continuing dreadful weather. Finally, Michael somehow found his way to Jason's place of work. Even better, he navigated his way back, with minimal fuss, to Lakeside Shopping Centre.
Meanwhile, I had finished a Noah's Ark of shopping and went to find Michael in the carpark. We became frozen loading the mountain of groceries into Lily. We arrived home to Station House in the dark and cold. We were both bone-weary.
Thursday dawned with slightly less Antarctic temperatures. Just before one o'clock, Jason announced that Michael's new laptop had received the transfer of data, he had salvaged the hard drive intact from the coffee-soaked HP corpse for extra storage, he had sourced us a recycling centre to drop off the dead at our leisure and the whole shebang was ready to come home. Awesome.
Michael decided to travel there and then to collect his precious new technological thingamajig. He set off confidently and was thrilled to report that he managed the journey there and back without getting lost. Very pleased with himself, he was...
Until he attempted to power up his Acer for the first time. The screen remained stubbornly black. I could predict that any further action would end in tears, so I persuaded him to walk away until the morning.
Friday, I was up before Michael and decided to do some snooping. I took great care in finding all useful components, including an interestingly titled "Start Up Instructions". This simple document showed the correct positioning of the charger and the location of the on/off button. Finding this with ease, I pressed it and Michael's laptop roared into life. I completed my good deed by deleting over six hundred emails from his account, which he had been meaning to tackle since March...
Thus, upon rising, Michael's mood changed from unrelenting despair to unadulterated delight. Once more, he had a functional computer.
His good humour was still a bit unreliable. Later that day, he asked me to get rid of Google Maps from his phone screen. So I pressed the X and Google Maps retreated. Michael then uttered a heartfelt and very rude word.
For once, I am no longer a Luddite. I have become a techno queen. God knows how. But I'll take the glory for as long as this good fortune lasts.
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