My middle brother Simon was an enigma to me for many years. Too old to be a childhood playmate, like Michael, and not quite old enough to tolerate a little sister, like David, Simon remained a bit of a mystery. Not that I didn't like him - I just really didn't know him. I had a chance to build a relationship with him after I moved to Brisbane to study nursing, but I left for Perth with my then husband at the age of twenty. Simon was twenty-seven, married and a young father.
Distance and family dynamics put the kybosh on any further relationship building with Simon until Mum's death. For the first time in thirty-nine years, all four of us siblings gathered together. Much to my astonishment (but not so much to Simon), we learnt about Mum's role as puppet master against all four of us. Each of us believed that the others were the chosen ones. Secrets and lies kept us from each other at arm's length. Mum was always very selective with her version of events. And Dad, who adored her, could not protect us. All the manipulation was revealed and we had a chance to connect again after a very long time. That exploration was not entirely perfect, but answered an absolute tonne of questions.
And that's when I really discovered their identities. Michael had been so traumatised by Mum that he had left the family at the age of seventeen and became a Far North Queenslander. David, ever gregarious, had been, I believe, the most forgiving of Mum and her foibles. Simon, the quiet reflective one, had always been the most honest about Mum as well as to her. She would ask his advice, time and time again, and then, not liking his response, would act as she pleased, often to her own detriment.
Spending precious days with Simon at his beautiful home high above the Burnet River outside Bundaberg, I was awestruck. He was generous, but did not suffer fools. He was witty and personable. He welcomed Michael and I into his life. I learnt more about Simon in snatches over the past four years than I ever imagined. He really wanted to know us too. Simply the best.
So, happy happy birthday to you, my quirky, charming, spirited brother, Simon. The Beverley Hillbillies wish you the best of times. Live long, be happy, stay safe. Looking forward to seeing you again when COVID 19 ceases to keep us apart.
Love you, Simon.
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