Heavenly Beverley : What A Funny Old Fellow Is Michael...

Who remembers Humphrey B Bear, who graced our screens from 1965 until 2009? Dressed in his characteristic boater hat, oversized yellow bow tie and tartan waistcoat, Humphrey was always assisted by a companion who narrated their adventures together. Each of their exploits was meant to mirror the world of preschoolers as they discovered, experienced and learnt to embrace new challenges, building their self-esteem along the way. Humphrey always tried his best, was friends with everybody and encouraged his young audience to participate with their families and in their communities.

But Humphrey was not perfect and made mistakes. His title song reiterated this and caused me to revisit that familiar ditty after all these years. Thus, when Michael was sorely testing my patience the other day, I decided to alter the lyrics to -

"What a funny old fellow is Michael

He gets in all manner of strife

He leads a very exciting life and honey is (almost) his favourite fare..."

After spending a very pleasant overnight stop a few weeks back with Kerry and Don in Dumbleyung, we then decided to head for Collie for a trip down memory lane. Worsley Refinery near Collie had been a frequent destination during the last twelve years of Michael's working life, but neither of us had been back since June 2010.

First cause was concern was Kerry's text that the publican at the GODI had tested positive to COVID. En route to Collie, we stopped at Katanning to collect some RATS to stick up our noses. First tests whilst parked in the main drag were negative.

However, Michael was beginning to be uncomfortable with sweating and fatigue. We were grateful to arrive in Collie and even more grateful when we discovered that the Collie Ridge's restaurant was undergoing renovation and we could only receive room service for dinner.

The night was pretty rough for both of us and we performed more RATs in the morning. Still negative. Don and then Kerry tested positive, so at home the following morning, we retested. Still negative. After a total of five RATS and repeated bouts of monumental sneezing fits courtesy of Michael, we were advised he had just endured another winter lurgy that was not related to COVID.

Most relieved, we confirmed a trip to the Big Smoke to update a phone for Michael. He had never totally mastered his Samsung G9 and was continually annoyed by its tendency to drop out, in spite of its Telstra "Blue Tick" status that supposedly meant better service in regional and remote areas. Given that his beloved Sony camera and lenses had also become obsolete plus being interested in the AI connections between Apple phones and Michael's brand new hearing aids, we decided to bite the bullet and purchase our first iPhone.

Having received the direct number for the Hay Street Telstra store, I prepared them for our arrival with some direct speaking - look after us and I will drop rather a lot of money in your laps. Give us the runaround and there would be no sale and an exceedingly acerbic review.

Happily, we were met by very agreeable Manager Tess and the Old Farts' Best Mobile Phone Translator, the fabulous Kieran. Over the next two and a half hours, Kieran explained Michael's new iPhone slowly and patiently, gave Michael enough confidence to persevere later on his own and altered our plans so we will be paying considerably less. He also explained and provided us with an additional Hotspot so we could have one at home and one in the Gallery to circumvent the lousy mobile and internet signal that passes as 4G in Beverley. In other words, Kieran will go places and probably be taken off the floor where he is most useful.

Hay Street Telstra shop staff - Tess, Kieran and other young lady who delivered my purse to me when I'd left it in another area of the shop - 5 Stars. Tell them Kate Sofoulis sent you in...

Following our successful sojourn at Telstra, we launched forward to spending the night with artist and good buddy Ross Calnan and his partner in crime Kris. Unfortunately Ross was under the weather with a gastro bug and Kris was tending to his every need and staying away from us, lest she infect us too.

We enjoyed a fantastic dinner at Manuka Woodfire Kitchen and then breakfast at the Little French Nest in Fremantle. After a phone consultation with Stephanie, our GP, we left Annie's Victorian Accommodation to head east. Armed with a list as long as my arm, our first stop was a laser cut factory in Bayswater. Forty-five minutes from our temporary digs in Fremantle, Michael realised he might have left the new and expensive iPhone back at Annie's.

My fury was accentuated as Michael asked me if I knew where his phone was...I was almost speechless with angry disbelief. We turned Lily back towards the coast and found ourselves in peak hour traffic. I was driving so I could concentrate on that task, rather than continuing to give Michael the rounds of the kitchen. Eventually, we arrived back at Annie's. I attempted to find the phone in the bathroom whilst Michael stayed with Lily. Due to a suspected failing battery, we chose not to turn her engine off. Dejected and still cross, I returned empty-handed. Michael found the phone on the bathroom bin, where he'd left it after his morning ablutions.

Once more, we left for home. All my plans for the afternoon had been dashed. However, as the late afternoon turned into evening, and Michael took over the driving, my temper cooled. There but for the grace of God could have been me...

That night, I reviewed the situation. Yes, I had been infuriated. But Michael hadn't meant this chaotic episode to unfold. He had been disappointed and miserable with himself. I realised that I may have given him an overly harsh tongue lashing.

Michael may be a funny old fellow but he is my my fellow. He is patient and kind and loving and tolerant. I really hit the jackpot when we met thirteen years ago. Sometimes, I need to remind myself of how lucky I am to have him in my life.