There is no beating about the bush. This is an Anniversary Day. Ten years ago, Michael found his wife of twenty-two years on the floor of their bedroom. He and their son Hayden attempted to resuscitate her, Michael performed mouth-to-mouth on his wife. Think about that for a second. He had to fight the urge to vomit, the urge to run, the urge to scream in agony. Michael has suffered from PTSD ever since that fateful morning.
Joan was taken off life support on 1 December 2008. She died shortly afterwards. Michael was left to care for two teenage children, work full-time in the mining industry and try to maintain his sanity. His children returned to their normal social lives fairly rapidly. Michael was left in their family home, with only Ruby the Beagle to keep him alive.
Six months later, he met me. He was horribly and profoundly lonely. His children rejected me and then him. Michael's physical and mental health collapsed a year later. He had to retire from a job he loved. We fled to Beverley so he could recuperate and heal.
Fast forward to 2018. We are so fortunate to live in a community that cares for us. We have amazing friends. We have built the East End Gallery from scratch and now support over seventy-five artists. We have a beautiful house. Our dogs, Madame Cat, the Pirate Parrot. And now, thanks to our beloved parents' financial legacy, we have our 4WD and caravan.
Today, we were supposed to be at a family wedding. Michael's nephew was marrying the love of his life. The wedding was in Margaret River, a fair trek for us. When we first saw the date for their wedding, we took a sharp intake of breath. There are other anniversaries within the family that are sacrosanct. We do not feel particularly valued, in light of this day.
Yes, yes, I hear you say - this was a long time ago. However, Joan has a special place in Michael's heart. He was married to her for over twenty years. She was a part of his life. Just as my children who died are parts of my life.
On Monday, we visited our GP in York. Michael's anxiety was through the roof. The doctor's words were "Let me get this straight. You are sitting in my office, stressed to the max about attending a wedding on Saturday. Do you really have to go?"
We thought about his comments and decided to stay at home. We sent a text to Michael's brother, apologising for our absence from the wedding, explaining the situation and asking him to forward our apologies to his son. We also informed Michael's sister of his upcoming anniversary.
We have had no response from any of them. We find this silence difficult to understand. Michael's niece died suddenly nearly seven years ago, just before we married. We had thought his family to be empathetic to occasions of grief. What on earth has happened?
Yesterday, we had an absolutely fabulous family visit the East End Gallery. Dean, a mechanical engineer, had worked alongside Michael at Worsley Refinery. Natalie, his wife was a vision of calm and reason with their five children. We set them up at the artists' table. They were wonderfully behaved and enjoyed their time in the Gallery as well.
A golden moment.
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