Heavenly Beverley : About a Boy...Who is Getting Married

Saturday 4 August 2018

About a Boy...Who is Getting Married

I have been given strict instructions. I am able to make a speech, but not a lengthy one; short, sharp and to the point is the preference. This is why I have never joined Twitter. I am incapable of communicating in less than one hundred and forty characters. In order to comply with the groom's instructions, I am going to summarise the bad, the good, the infuriating, the hilarious, the profound and the joyful in ten points. I'm sure you will be able to fill in any obvious gaps. So, in no particular order, here are ten things I love about Callum -

Callum has been a perfectionist from the moment he was born. He expressed his displeasure very loudly when yanked out of warmth and comfort into a bright and cold world. He refused to walk until he could do so without falling over. He started speaking in full sentences. And he toilet-trained himself in one day when he was bloody well ready.
As a small child, Callum had very definite opinions, a thirst for knowledge and was the complete social butterfly.
Callum has always been extremely busy.
He was slow to anger, but once he'd reached his limit of endurance, he could rival Vesuvius. The best course of action was always to leave him to cool down with the minimum of fuss.
As he's grown into adulthood, he has become more measured, tolerant and most diplomatic. An interesting contrast to his mother.
However, there have been times that a belt across the head with a tennis racket should be freely given to one's tormentor. My only regret was that Callum was caught.
Callum's solution to dealing with the ridiculousness of moronic teenage boys was to fling himself into his passions. Karate and ballroom dancing were neck and neck until he chose to continue with dancing alone. Still, karate could have come in handy during the demolition derby that was the Quickstep.
A teacher in all facets of his life. As a brother, a son, a friend, a partner, Callum would help us all if possible. To be able to teach me the Nutbush will go down in history as one of his greatest triumphs.
Callum always gives his all. He has practised crowd control with a class of rampant upper primary school boys, persuaded a bunch of loud-mouthed drunkards to leave a hospitality premises, had a preprimary pupil check his tonsils without poking them, sashayed with style through a busy restaurant and strived for excellence in everything he tackles.
I am privileged to be his Mum. He rings me for no particular reason, values my opinions, remembers my birthday (even if the actual date is a little hazy) and always ends his conversations with "Love you, Mum".

I wish Cal and Bron a wonderful life and I welcome her to our family, even though I suspect she already knows this.

Have a blast, kids.