Heavenly Beverley : My Bung Knee Goes to the Big Smoke

At present, Michael and I really don't have a sound pair of legs between us. Having stepped awkwardly off a ladder and turned his left ankle in both directions (that takes real skill), Michael had an appointment for an ultrasound and x-ray to look for trouble down under. Then we were both seeing the "Boy Wonder" for consultation - Michael and his foot and me with my knee.

Those of you who read my posts know that I suffer from an impairment of being able to stand on two feet satisfactorily for any length of time. Over the last couple of months, I have danced the Watusi Quickstep in the laundry (having tripped over the dogs' leads) and twice ( how good am I?) outside landing on extremely unforgiving concrete pavers. Each of these tumbles has occurred when I was stone-cold sober. The latest disaster occurred after tripping over the outside hose and hurtling at full throttle (with a payload of eighty kilogrammes) towards the ground.

Falling after imbibing a few glasses of vino is much more pleasant. Take Michael's experiences, for example. Having performed a swan dive into a paint tray via a ladder proved wet and colourful ( he was covered in Red Terra) but not painful. Likewise when he performed his version of the Watusi Quickstep in our bedroom. He and our upright fan engaged in an impromptu tango which concluded with them both lying together on the floor. The fan was seriously injured whilst Michael was unharmed. Both times he was quite sozzled.

Crashing whilst sober is another matter altogether. Both Michael and I can attest to the fleeting thought of "oh bugger, this is going to hurt", followed by tensed muscles and them a fulfilment of our predictions. Which is why both Michael and I are currently the worse for wear. The moral of this story - only fall over when one has consumed a reasonable amount of medicinal liquid relaxant.

After much discussion and knowing our difficulty in rising from morning slumber, we resolved to gatecrash our good friend Ailsa and her husband Mark to stay overnight prior to the nine o'clock start for Michael. This proved to be a splendid evening with great food, vino, amiable conversation and entertainment provided by canine residents Archie and Mollie.

A comfortable bed and painkillers were an added bonus. Michael was on a mattress on the floor. In spite of the softness and warmth of our environs, neither of us slept well. We woke, dressed and left for Michael's appointment, Ailsa promising us a cooked breakfast on our return. Wonderful.

Michael's imaging was smooth, efficient and saw us back at Chez Ailsa's by half past ten. Bacon and eggs with tea and coffee were sublime. Then we retired back to bed for a couple of hours and slept soundly, feeling far better when we woke.

Hugs and kisses and we were off to see Mr Ben Kimberley. We used to be fooled by his slightly absent-minded and boyish manner. A superb surgeon, he has put me back together again on several occasions and performed miracles on both of Michael's shoulders and carpal tunnels. His practice is run like a well-oiled machine by his exemplary staff, Marija and Anne.

Ben deduced that Michael's ankle may further improve over time but my knee would not. Sending me for a quick x-ray to make sure I hadn't broken any bones, my knee and surrounds appeared intact. However, he suspected torn cartilage and fluid were the problems at hand. I obviously have great bones, which is fortunate, considering my frequency in falling on them.

So tomorrow we are back to the Big Smoke for me to have an afternoon snooze, a knee block, a prod, poke and clean out. We will stay overnight whilst Vanessa holds the fort in the Residence. And Michael is delighted as he will probably be able to watch the football unhindered on the telly as I will still be snoring my head off after the anaesthetic. His only concern is that he remembers to order food as my boarder.

See you after the jump.