Heavenly Beverley : Concerned about The Spectre of Data Retention? I Wouldn't Overly Worry...

I must admit that I haven't been paying attention of the machinations of the Census. Yeah yeah, I knew that tonight is Census Night, where we are all dutifully to fill in the hard copy form or choose the option of online completion. I was vaguely aware that there was some sort of code that was individual to every household. I just assumed that our Census letter Explaining All would eventually lob up at the House that Rocks. I wasn't sure of the arrival mode - by post, delivery or carrier pigeon - but I was confident that sooner or later, all would be revealed

I have been following, with interest, the opinions of some Australians in their objections to the Census. For the first time, this Census is requesting our names and addresses. Not for any sinister purposes, of course. All this data will be kept safe and sound and never ever used. Haven't you heard that they're from the government and they are here to help us...

This whole Big Brother scenario of surveillance, identification, storage and retrieval is unsettling, to say the least. I was mildly annoyed, that on my visit to the Social Securities minister, he knew (and stated for the record) that Michael and I were receiving Centrelink benefits, as are two of my children. Now, why do you all suppose he dropped that tantalising snippet into our conversation? We were actually in his office to discuss the future of the Swan Friendship Cafe.

However, if I was previously upset by the concept of data retention, I am now resting easier. The leviathan that is the Census is experiencing all sorts of technical and other difficulties in carrying out their mission.

Here are the facts, as I understand them.

In the city, you received your Census information letter by mail. Here in the sticks, there is a small army of volunteers delivering these kits to each and every front door. Or gate. Or fence. Each volunteer has no idea who the other volunteers in their area. One can't be too careful that this information may fall into the Wrong Hands. Which means that our Census volunteer on the other side of the Avon has no idea who the volunteer is on our side of the river.

And as we haven't received any material regarding the Census, we would really like to know who to contact...

Oh silly me! A routine search discovered a phone line to ring. Which is being swamped. Or an enquiry line. Which is being inundated and only responds with an auto reply. Apparently, the cheerful message on the phone line is encouraging people who haven't received their Census information not to panic. And don't ring again until after Census night. Because we are going to be given more time to complete the Census before we get fined. This wonderfully positive message has been flowing thick and fast that you will be heavily penalised if you do not comply. Exterminate!

I have an alternative opinion as to why the kind folk at the Bureau of Statistics have given us an additional period to comply with this Important Project. Please do not take this personally at the ABS, but really, you have not been given the resources to organise a piss up in a brewery. That the phone lines and online enquiries are not coping is probably a reasonable assumption of this fact. And the Peter Principle, that marvellous observation related to government efficiency is having a field day as well. At the end of this debacle, we'll have a bit of finger pointing and potty mouths complaining and watery explanations and then the Census, like a noxious odour, will eventually dissipate into the stratosphere.

Data retention concerns at the House that Rocks? Not presently.