Ah...retirement! Beautiful one day, medical appointments the next! Another day in paradise right here in Heavenly Beverley. Summer has hit us like a Pan-galactic Gargleblaster, without the velvet. We all moaned about the extended cool spring, so the universe has had the last laugh, with most recent days hovering around the old century mark. I used to love the hot weather. Now, I am in love with ceiling fans and air-conditioning in the heat and heating in the cold.
Yesterday, we launched forward towards the Big Smoke with two tasks to complete. These were somewhat tiresome appointments that illustrate becoming older beautifully.
The first errant was to a lawyers' office in West Perth. We needed to have our wills renewed as our needs have changed to some extent and our previous solicitor may well still be in jail. We'd never considered him to be criminal material and neither apparently did any of his other clients. Our latest, and hopefully law-abiding pillar of the legal world, noted that the clients he had inherited all just considered the fellow to be a little odd or eccentric.
Our meeting was painless to all except our hip pocket. Because of Alex's special circumstances, our wills have ballooned from a simple and straightforward three pages to a thickness akin to a dictionary. That was an "In". The only "Out" was the removal of a previous beneficiary.
The second item on the agenda was Michael's CT scan on his abdomen to search for any nasties that we sincerely hope aren't there. We have reached a certain age where one test seems to lead to another. And we are paying for all the indiscretions of our younger selves. Michael is aghast at being reduced to one glass of red wine a night for six weeks to give his fatty liver a rest. He is even more aghast at the concept of consuming three or more serves of veggies every day. His idea of enough is plenty of potatoes with as minimal green stuff as possible. The boom has been lowered.
As for me, I am cheering at the delightful thought of another removal of a skin cancer - this time from my noggin. The biopsy performed by the delicious Doctor Daram confirmed the result - another BCC (basal cell carcinoma) hiding under my hair. Who would have thought that barbecuing oneself every summer until I was fifteen would lead to such a later fun activity? Fortunately, my head is being assaulted in early March when I can still get away wearing a hat.
Michael's CT was efficiently performed with absolutely no clue as to the results. The dye went "In" and the immediate sensation suggested warm fluid was heading "Out" Luckily, we are both aware that the feeling one has peed oneself is just a side effect of the test.We now wait with bated breath for the Report.
This morning, I enjoyed a most lively conversation with Pam, Receptionist to the Stars at the Vines Medical Centre here in town. Yesterday, she had left a message that since the COVID boosters were not "In" the practice yet , our stabbings for tomorrow needed to be postponed. Funnily enough, the boosters came "In" this morning, meaning they can be injected "Out" into our upper arms tomorrow after all. If a miracle occurs during our visit to the quacks' office, Michael's CT results may be "In" as well!
For some obscure reason, the Who's "Squeezebox" jumped into my head as I was considering where the hell this post was going. Probably all the references to "In" and "Out". Pardon my complete ignorance, but how was I to know that a squeezebox was slang for a woman's vagina as well as for an accordion? Without a clue at sixty-one years of age, one of my favourite songs is all about quite explicit sex!
Who remembers a quaint and mildly amusing movie named "In and Out", about a teacher who is outed as being gay, when he does not believe himself to be so. Inspired in part by a speech in the uber-serious Philadelphia, the movie explores sensuality, sexuality, exclusion and triumph in a reasonably light format. I had no idea that Joan Cusack, the lead female actor was nominated for an Oscar. Now I will have to watch the movie again.
Finally, how many others are enjoying the fabulous adventures of Bill and Sheila, along with their guides to "free camping and good stuff". Artist Michael Jones has created an iconic retired couple in a series of wonderful mini paintings. They are camped somewhere in their caravan on a secluded beach, though they are close enough to a town for Bill to be retrieved from the Bowling Club by the local coppers. Bill, whilst giving great impressions of his manly virtues, seem to spend most of his time on a lilo, asleep under the newspaper. Sheila is the responsible one, alerting Bill to snakes, spiders and the high tide, whilst she performs rather a lot of the hard yakka at their site. Do yourselves a favour and grab a peek of Bill flat "Out" on his back whilst Sheila jumps "In" to carry out the necessary duties.
Well hello CT!
No comments:
Post a Comment