Monday 3 May 2021

Oh Calamity! Oh Catastrophe! Oh Computer!

The 1400s were not fun times to be alive in England, regardless of your status. The Black Death had efficiently mown down the population in the 1300s. England was at war with France for over a hundred years. A lengthy recession and some serious bickering between the Houses of Lancaster and York led to a revolving door of kings coming and going. Plus rather a lot of unnatural deaths.

George, Duke of Clarence, was brother to both Edward IV and Richard III. Unable to make up his mind which house to support, he was eventually tried and found guilty of treason against Edward IV. He may or may not have met a sticky end in a butt of Malmsey wine.

My beloved Toshiba laptop had been through quite a few adventures with me. This remarkable machine has survived multiple liquid spillages, multiple falls onto hard surfaces, the removal of its battery, the malfunction of its CD drive, and the odd flesh wound. I believed my Toshiba to be invincible. I was wrong.

My laptop was, in my estimation, at least ten years old. I had noticed that the speed of any function had slowed to a snail's pace. As long as the computer remained operational, a delay in most applications was to be expected and accepted.

Then, unfortunately, came the coup de grace. My laptop, rather like George of Clarence, succumbed to an excess of alcohol. A spectacular spillage of an entire glass of white wine over the keyboard was the advent of doom. Initially, I congratulated myself, that as I had done so many times before, I flipped the laptop upside down and all appeared well. Shutting down in triumph, I was smugly assured of continued longevity. Alas! The following morning, when I tried to boot up, the awful truth was revealed. After a number of interesting, albeit bizarre letter combinations appeared as my password, I became cognisant of the fact that my laptop had reached the End of its Life.

Bollocks...

And so, I am officially computerless. I am currently having to share Michael's HP with him. Needless to say, I have never backed up any files in my life, so I am dependent on my heroes at Navada Computers being able to extract the data from the corpse of my Toshiba and transfer it into a new computer I hope to purchase on Wednesday.

The good news is that I will spend Wednesday evening with Cal, Bron and Immy, as long as Perth doesn't return to lockdown. And catch up with Alex and Vanessa, if possible. The bad news is that Cal, Bron and Immy have to leave at six-thirty on Thursday morning in order to get to daycare and school on time. This means I will be up too...

Hopefully, my new computer will be ready so I can return home to Heavenly Beverley with it tucked under my arm later on Thursday. Otherwise, I will remain forlornly computerless until I can take possession of it at a slightly later date.


The perils of wine...



Versus a laptop...



Sometimes, the effects are just too strong...



Just ask George, Duke of Clarence...


In his encounter with a butt...



Of Malmsey, possibly ordered by his brother, Edward IV...




Unlike poor George, I am hoping that all my data is saved onto my new laptop!



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