Heavenly Beverley : You're Moving Out Today...Yay...Yay (A Tribute from Carole Bayer Sager)

Those of you who are as ancient as me may remember a song called "You're Moving Out Today" recorded by Carole Bayer Sager way back in 1977. For those who need reminding, these are the lyrics -

"You're Moving Out Today"

I stayed out late one night and you moved in.
I didn't mind 'cause of the state you were in.
May I remind you that it's been a year since then?

Today the landlady, she said to me,
"Your loony friend just made a pass at me."
Perhaps you might enjoy a cottage by the sea.

So pack your toys away,
your pretty boys away,
your forty-fives away,
your alibis away,
your silly lies away,
your old tie-dyes away,
your one more tries away.
You're moving out today.

You nasty habits ain't confined to bed.
The grocer told me what you do with bread.
Why don't you take up with the
baker's wife instead of me?

Pack up your rubber duck.
I'd like to wish you luck.
Your funny cigarettes, your sixty-one cassettes,
pack all your clothes away,
your rubber hose away,
your old day glows away.
You're movin' out today.

"I hate to do it"
"You gotta"
"I hate to do it"
"You gotta"
"I hate to do it"
"You gotta"
"I hate to do it"
"You gotta"
"I hate to do it"
"You gotta"

Pack up you dirty looks,
your songs that have no hooks,
your stacks of Modern Screen,
your portrait of the queen,
your mangy cat away,
your baby fat away.
You're headed that-a-way.
You're moving out today.

[additional lyrics from the single]
Pack up your fork and spoon,
but leave my Lorna Doones;
Your map of Mozambique;
Your waterbed that leaks.

la la la la la la la la.
la la la la la la la . . .

On Thursday, Michael and I set out for the Big Smoke to move Alex from his unit in Yokine to a secret destination. We're keeping his current location under wraps as Alex is there for a two-week trial before all the relevant parties decide he may stay for a three-month probation. What I can reveal is that if this situation develops to being mutually acceptable to all concerned, Alex will have a great house to share in a fabulous suburb with terrific support. This could be a long-term home for him. After the dramas of privately renting for the past two and a half years, we are all crossing our fingers for the best possible outcome.

The day didn't just involve moving all his worldly possessions from one part of Perth to another. I was still chucking stuff out right up until we were ready to leave. The trip down the freeway was rather a hair-raising drive as Michael had one eye fixed on the trailer on the other on the road ahead. Fortunately, we had the services of Alex's support worker, Pascal and a large van to assist for the day. We arrived with Alex's worldly possessions intact and began the unload.

Remarkably all of his furniture fitted into his new room. We had no time to unpack as we all had to return to his old unit to clean it well enough for the real estate manager to refund his bond. This is where Pascal was invaluable. He worked like a navvy. Alex became highly anxious, so his ability to be productive dropped like a concrete boot in the ocean. Michael became highly anxious as time dragged on and disappeared to buy a packet of fags. Pascal and I continued to clean the unit at the rate of possessed demons. Michael packed the trailer with the fridge, two ceramic pots, an occasional table and our old dining setting to bring back to Beverley. We had no room for two other sofas that we would have to retrieve at a later date.

The carpet cleaner was held up and didn't arrive until after five o'clock. Pascal had already given generously of his time and remained beyond the call of duty. Alex, complete with a full washing basket and rapidly defrosting food from his freezer (which had been inadvertently forgotten) was going to have to find his own way to his new digs.

The carpet cleaner finally departed, Pascal locked the old unit for the last time and promised to drop off the keys the following day. Alex called Uber for a lift. I was mightily impressed. For a young man who apparently has a mild intellectual disability, Alex demonstrated street cred that blew me away. There is not a chance in hell that I could have summoned Uber at the drop of a hat.

The excitement was not quite over. Halfway down Central Avenue, we drove through a roundabout. The fridge door flew open and seesawed backward and forwards with gay abandon. The veggie drawers hurtled out but luckily ended up in the trailer, rather than on the road. Hysterics enveloped us. We pulled over, replaced the drawers back inside the fridge and secured the door. The only other stop was at First Choice for some urgently required medicinal refreshments.

We eventually crawled into the House that Rocks just before eight o'clock. Vanessa was waiting for us with a lamb roast in the oven. Joy. If she hadn't been there, we would have become completely smashed and retired to bed without a meal. As it was, we still became completely smashed but had the benefit of a delicious dinner before we collapsed gratefully into bed.

Meanwhile, Alex had made his way safely to his new home. As per usual, he was up at the crack of dawn the next morning to travel to work at the Swan Friendship Cafe in Midland. The last hurdle was canceling his old gas account. This I helped Alex to finalise after work on Friday afternoon.

Today is Saturday. I've been in the East End Gallery all day. I have had e-mail communication with the parent of the other young person in the house. Alex hasn't blotted his copybook yet. We are in the process of setting up house rules and rosters.

So far, so good.

By the way, I have a son named Alex, of whom I am so proud. And love very much.