Heavenly Beverley : How To Cram Several Days Into Just One...

Thursday was always going to be a day of haste and anxiety. Michael was finally booked in for his endoscopy (downoscopy) at Northam Hospital to explore his troublesome gut once more. Neither of us ever sleep well the Night Before Procedures and Wednesday was no exception. We were bouncing off each other and the walls for the duration of the hours we are generally resident in Cloud Cuckoo Land.

Hence. we were both rather the worse for wear at the particularly frigid watery dawn. I let Michael sleep on whilst I soaked my head in the shower. I was enjoying the deluge of warmth so much that I almost missed the deadline for shovelling out his tablets before Fasting Commenced.

In the end, I only woke him an hour before departure. There was no point in turfing him out of bed beforehand. His usual morning routine had been disallowed and he was definitely Not Happy about this turn of events.

Off to Northam. Michael drove to distract his mind from food. Ten kilometres out, my phone rang. Raelene from the Day Surgery Unit was wondering if we were close to Target. Michael would be next in, so she advised me to just pull up at the entrance and boot him out. This action was executed with gusto and I left him in the care of Raelene and her crew.

I then accelerated into Overdrive. Not knowing when he would be given the All Clear for home, I scurried about faster than the squirrel collecting his nuts. New knickers from Best&Less. Half price jeans and additional tee shirts for our trip at Rockmans. Prescriptions, over-the-counter drugs, burn cream, the Drops of Death (antiseptic) and Stingoes from the chemist. Supermarket followed by essential medicinal libations (vino) and thick bamboo socks for wearing with my boots. Specialist veterinary biscuit for the Canine Clowns and Madame Cat.

After drawing breath, I checked my watch. Almost High Noon. I'd dropped Michael at the Northam Hospital door at nine-thirty. I immediately ascended to Panic Mode and rang the Day Surgery Unit...

Michael was fine. The downoscopy was done. He was just having a coffee and a sandwich. He was even dressed and almost ready for pick-up. Whew.

About to leave the vet's carpark, my phone rang. Our Autistic Superstar was on the other end. I was a tad concerned. Sometimes, unexpected communications with Alex forewarned of a disaster. This was no different. Having emptied his account to pay for his Grand Tour over east, he had no funds to get an extra key cut or buy supplies of dental floss.

What could I do? I transferred some money into Alex's account. And promised him that we needed to have a Serious Talk when he returned from his trip to prevent any reoccurrence of this situation.

Back to the hospital. Michael was released into my custody a short time later. I nearly fell over in fits of exhausted laughter when I signed his discharge form as "the responsible adult".

We weren't done yet. I needed food urgently. Much to my surprise, Michael also wanted another sandwich when I placed my lunch order at the ever-reliable Lucy's Cafe. A blast of carbohydrates and protein reignited my flagging energy levels. We stopped to see Ryan, our accountant, briefly. Another marathon session to Centrelink the previous afternoon had the desired effect that Ryan could now enquire on our behalf about our alleged debt. And I had entered into a payment plan with Centrelink to get them off our backs whilst Ryan gathered appropriate information.

Last but not least, we fueled Goldie and turned her in the direction of home. Arriving with no reports or injuries, we emptied the car, packed away the groceries and fell into bed for a late afternoon nap.

Michael was not through eating. Upon arising, he devoured the rest of the leftover pizza, two mandarines and then proceeded to eat pork schnitzels, baked potatoes and veggies when dinner was cooked. Whilst watching the telly, he also demolished a decent helping of Vanessa's delicious and freshly-baked pear and nut cake.

I do not remember falling asleep. I just know this happened very rapidly. I woke Friday morning remarkably refreshed. And ready for the next exciting installment in the Beverley Hillbillies' action-packed lives.