Those of you also born during the time of the dinosaurs might remember a curious little show named "Bill and Ben - Flower Pot Men". Created by the BBC in 1952 (!), as part of their "Watch with Mother" segments for small children, Bill and Ben were puppets made out of terracotta pots with cupcake holders as their hats. Their sidekick, Little Weed, was resident in between two flower pots and somehow escaped being pulled out by "the man who worked in the garden". They were sometimes visited by a tortoise called Slowcoach and in one episode by a chap made entirely out of potatoes. A language, Oodle Poodle was also invented for the puppets. When "the man who worked in the garden" was away having his dinner, Bill and Ben would emerge and inevitably be involved in some sort of minor misadventure. Each episode would finish with either Bill or Ben taking the blame for whatever had transpired and then scuttling back into hiding when footsteps could be heard in the background. With the 'wisdom of ageing', I now view Bill and Ben with a somewhat jaundiced attitude, particularly relating to encouraging potential guilt or shame in their very young audience. However, in my early childhood, on the few occasions I was allowed to watch television, I was fascinated by Bill and Ben, their language and their ability to remain a team come what may.
A couple of weeks ago, I was reminded of Bill and Ben and their stoicism by two very engaging young blokes who happened to work as technicians for Telstra. They were an essential part of the stunning miracle has occurred right here in Station House, our home behind the East End Gallery.
Since cancelling our landline telephone when we moved out of the House That Rocks in 2017, and thus relying entirely on mobile devices, we had suffered from appalling and unreliable coverage. Repeated pleas to Telstra (over years) had fallen on entirely deaf ears, including to the CEO, Ms Vicki Brady.
Back in March, I'd had enough of Telstra's blatant avoidance techniques to sidestep improving our service. They were undeniably aware of congestion issues in Beverley and were refusing to consider any upgrades to the system. As a result, I launched a complaint through the Telecommunications Industry Ombudsman (TIO).
Telstra were given until May to negotiate a suitable outcome with us. This month came and went, with Telstra stating they were still carrying out investigations. Multiple dubious "speed tests" were demanded; sometimes the signal was so bad, the test would not even load. After being packed off to an external (India) call centre, I lost the plot completely. threatening to report Telstra's stalling tactics back to the TIO.
Suddenly, there was action from Telstra. We were assigned a Customer Service Consultant named Chloe Booth, who will inevitably be moved at some stage for possessing common sense, compassion and a can-do attitude. Telstra had ceased to insist that we pay for a) a booster and antenna and b) a site survey as we cheerfully pointed out that their refusal to upgrade Beverley's mobile and internet network was their problem, not ours.
Chloe organised the components of our own personal upgrade be delivered to our address. Meanwhile, Telstra remotely organised the installation personnel, which was delayed three times - through lack of staff, bad weather and double booking. Apparently, all appointments are made in Sydney, without ever checking the weather in other parts of the country...
Finally, the day of the installation dawned, cold but fine. Dominic and Jason, our Telstra men, rocked up at about ten o'clock. We already knew Dom from his efficient site survey of our property a few weeks before. Apparently, he had once more been double booked, but decided to tell Telstra in a caring, sharing way that he and Jason were going to attend to our job instead.
They were hit with a snag when one of the components was missing from the packages. Never giving up, they found a spare in the back of Jason's ute and completed a four hour long job.
With a triumphant flourish, Dom and Jason invited us to test the signals of both our phones and internet, bearing in mind that the booster and antenna were only definitely supposed to enhance our internet. A jump in bars on our phones could be an adjunct to being in close vicinity to our mobile hotspot.
Wonder of wonders, we were delirious to note full bars on both our phones and internet. We almost didn't believe our eyes. After years of poor signal, along with continual dropping out of both our mobiles and hot spot, we were privy to a new era of reliable communication.
We are so very grateful to Chloe and to Dominic and Jason. These are the people that Telstra needs to employ. And Telstra would do much better if they resisted the urge to avoid providing their customers with substandard service delivery. In our opinion, all call centres should be Australia based with regions assigning work in their own states, along with enough technical staff to meet the needs of their customers when mobile and internet coverage is unsatisfactory.
We would also like to thank the TIO for altering Telstra's constipated position of total inaction in our case. I don't believe we would have achieved this outcome without the TIO, given Telstra's recalcitrance over years.
I believe Telstra senior management, from the CEO downwards need to take a good hard look at themselves. In an ethical world, the needs of the shareholders would not be given more weight than the needs of the consumers. That is a lesson that I fear Telstra will be resistant to learn, which will add to the importance and relevance of the TIO's role for the foreseeable future. Our own complaint to the TIO was closed this week.
In the meantime, I wish Chloe, (our Inside Secret Agent for good) and Dominic and Jason (Our Telstra Men) all the very best. So, Bill and Ben can remain in the annals of history...
With Potato Man - a possible former pollie in disguise...
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