Most people spring clean during spring. However, most of you who read my blog could testify that I am slightly left of centre. Needless to say, I am spring cleaning in autumn.
Due to my increasing fitness - I have now lost nine kilograms (nearly twenty pounds in the old money) - I have more energy and more enthusiasm. My get up and go has returned. My Mojo Is Back, Baby.
I have regained that fabulous feeling that exercise is good for me and I can now walk twice around our oval - aiming for three times in the near future or about forty-five minutes on Barry, my beloved and stationary exercise bike. Using Barry instead of one of those bikes that actually go places is far superior to me. I have all the balance of a drop bear and I can't enjoy the scenery as I am waiting to fall off, go over the handlebars or strike an obstacle which then involves both of the aforementioned hazards.Plus I do do love to have Barry throbbing between my legs...
Being left handed as a small child and being changed to right handed has caused me endless episodes of peril, as I am left eye dominant. I can't cut straight, could never shoot straight and basically any activity that involves lining up leads to Epic Failure.
My computer is more or less Kate proof, being encased in metal, my digital camera can be flung one and a half metres or be submerged to thirty metres. Not that I have ever tried the water bit. I am hopeless at swimming with the tendency to sink like a stone. In spite of attempting to be really careful with my new Samsung, I have already broken the cover of one camera lens. Fortunately this hasn't affected my ability to take photographs as that is the role of my camera. My motto is 'computers are for computer-ing, cameras are for camera-ing and phones are for phoning'. And never the twain should meet.
Anyway my latest catastrophe involved some vigourous cleaning of the floor of my laundry cupboard. I took all the cleaning products, washing detergent, fabric softener (one can't abide rough undies) laundry sticks (for all the stains that end up down my clothes on a daily basis) and the soaker, if the laundry stick doesn't work on some horrid and persistent stains.
Carefully wiping the bottom of each container and wiping out the truly disgusting residue of a cupboard that hadn't been cleaned since Adam was a boy, I surveyed my cleaning prowess with a sense of supreme smugness.
After drying the cupboard floor and placing all the contents back into this pristine environment, I wandered out into the kitchen to tackle another annoying chore. The washing machine was about to empty its dirty water from yet another load. And that is when the trouble began.
Suddenly, there was the sound of a deluge of water, a noise that would have convinced Noah that they really needed to finish loading all those two by two animals into the Ark and beat a fast retreat.
In my quest for cleanliness, I had knocked the outlet pipe from the washing machine out of its other larger pipe. Apart from the flood reaching out the door, I was devastated by all my careful cleaning being befouled in an instant.
Luckily I located the outlet pipe thing at the farthest reaches of the cupboard and shoved both pipes back together. Only then could I begin to see the result of of my latest disaster.
The quick application of a large towel and the drain soon had the laundry floor (not the cupboard floor) back to itself. However, I then had to move all the potions out (again), clean the cupboard (again) and try not to dislodge that bloody outlet pipe. I decided not to reload the cupboard until I had successfully carried out another load of washing. Which was achieved today. The cupboard is now the cleanest it has ever been and I have learnt yet another lesson.
Never clean too enthusiastically, particularly if you are as accident prone as me.
Or not use fabric softener...
How Noah must have felt...
Sigh.
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