Women In Uniform

Becoming front-of-house at the East End Gallery has been a very interesting and often quite steep learning curve. None of my previous roles could have prepared me for this kind of challenge. I have worked in all sorts of professions - from selling steak knives for the Sporting Wheelies (yes, really) to aged carer and special education assistant. I have also cleaned houses and worked in reception and administration. I began considering the one common thread linking this lifetime of jobs. The endless chore of deciding what to wear each work day.

I love uniforms. In theory. A decent uniform removes any of the angst associated with clothing choices. Unfortunately, some uniforms range from the indecent to the downright hideous. Whoever came up with the bright idea that teenage girls should wear pleated tunics to school need their motives examined. Pleats only look reasonable on a select few and most schoolgirls do not fit into that cohort.

Uniforms seem to walk hand-in-hand with questionable colour combinations. Putrid pale blue shirts and dreary grey skirts do not create a cheery style. Maroon and forest green should be banned. Checks can be a catastrophe. Who believed navy uniforms, brown tights and brown shoes would look reasonable as a whole? And don't get me started on the insanity of white shirts for boys.

Why stop at revolting uniforms after we leave school and join the workforce? Yellow is one of those colours that can make employees look positively bilious. Checks and stripes need to be considered with extreme caution. Qantas' current fixation with pink and red together on their uniforms do none of their staff any favours. Neck frills are best worn by lizards. Caps do nothing for anybody. Those wearing caps backwards need to rounded up and shot.

When we were young, we could usually cope with wearing ill-fitting and unattractive uniforms more easily. For a start, only our mothers really cared how our clothes looked. Uniforms could be flung aside once we were home and we had a chance to change...and look like the rest of our friends.

I understand the need for uniforms. But, honestly, why do the designs for some uniforms look like somebody has chucked a few terrible ideas together at the last minute? Surely, when wearing uniforms is compulsory or just a good idea to save other clothes, can't uniforms be fit for purpose, practical and reasonable looking?

Which is why I love my standard Gallery frock. Bought in Charters Towers of all places, multicoloured (but no pattern or checks) and a simple flowing tunic-style (no pleats), it washes like a rag and needs no ironing. Plus I can wear most single coloured shirts with it, boots and stockings in winter and sandals in summer.

This woman in uniform is confident in clothing choices for the time being. When the frock fails or falls apart, I will be distraught until I find another acceptable uniform.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly...

Compared to this lot, I don't think I scrub up too badly!