Heavenly Beverley : Huzzar! Beverley Heroic Report (Exclusive and Thoroughly Biased)

Our days away from the Gallery were less than usual this week. On Monday, we welcomed a group of energetic seniors from Northam for a planned visit into the Gallery, so very little else was achieved. Tuesday we were in the Big Smoke for haircuts, shopping and a prolonged sojourn in Bunnings. Today, we had a delicious Long Lunch with Poppy as chef and Jan and Greg in attendance as well. This afternoon, I was potting my newly purchased plants outside our guestroom.

Thus, I have been most remiss in my efforts to record my impressions of the 2018 Beverley Heroic, which occurred over the weekend. This situation cannot continue so I will be working with my fingers flying over my computer's keys until I have completed this task.

Put simply, the Heroic is an event encompassing the passion of bicycling. New bikes, vintage bikes, new riders, vintage riders and their supporters were celebrating the delights and the dramas of all two-wheeled self-propelled transport devices. Bike lovers, from the novices to the serious riders, embraced the spirit of another remarkable Heroic weekend.

The weather was less than ideal at some stages. Often, the bicycle maniacs participating in the Heroic were soaked to the skin on one or more occasions. The Saturday night town ride suffered the most, due to truly appalling rain. However, the cyclists soldiered on regardless of the conditions, with a great deal of grit and good humour.

There were some notable acts of Heroism. The Beverley Heroine, an exceedingly fit and experienced rider, discovered that her slow pace up a hill was due to her brakes inadvertently being in the on position. The best costume was awarded to a bloke dressed in all garments Peugeot. There was another bunch who had obviously escaped from an AC/DC convention, resplendent in school uniforms and the memorable Fat Bastards, who promoted themselves as an eating group with a bicycle disorder...

Collyn left his Penny Farthing in the Gallery most of the weekend. I once again obtained photographic evidence of how one mounts a Penny Farthing. I believe that I am destined never to master this skill (and I don't even what to try...), in my efforts to stay out of hospital for the foreseeable future.

I did learn that most falls from a Penny Farthing occur during the dismount, which is also a novel way of slowing the machine from Holy S#@t, I Need To Stop to OMG Maybe I Should Have Considered This Manoeuvre More Fully! Fortunately or unfortunately, Collyn did not demonstrate an ungainly dismount and remained unhurt.

Complaints from Charles and Ingrid included the miss-naming of the 50 Mile Race. According to their calculations, the ride was 56 Miles and they claimed substantial bum discomfort as a result. Toby Hodgson, you have been corrected.

Speaking of Toby, he was definitely flagging during the Presentations at the end of the weekend, but in typical Heroic style, he assumed a Stiff Upper Lip, donned a dreadful moustache and threatened any riders who didn't sign in that he would tell their wives they had been scuttled on the side of the road.

Toby's Executive Officer, his wife Anna, was kept busy with her stamp, making sure that all Heroes and Heroines did the Right Thing and recorded their return. Or face the consequences of being stamped on their foreheads. I daresay her ink would have been indelible.

The ladies from the RSL Auxilliary delivered a fabulous afternoon tea, the speeches were short and sharp and everybody had a jolly good and thrilling time. I duly noted the vital details and took plenty of photographs in order to produce this exceptional piece of reporting for all the Enthusiasts of the Beverley Heroic.

I expect Toby would have slept soundly from satisfied exhaustion on Sunday night. Over the last five years, he has created a fantastically quirky and original two-day event from the ashes of "The Beverley" - a gruelling bicycle road race to Perth over one hundred and sixteen miles that ran between 1897 and 1999.

Bicyclists really are crazy...Until next year...Huzzar!

PS I have been informed that the AC/DC boys were actually a mischievous group masquerading as Jehovah Witnesses. With no disrespect intended, I still would prefer to have Angus Young rock up at my front door rather than the aforementioned alternative bunch!