Heavenly Beverley : Conversations With Alex

My son, Alex, is a wonderful, well-rounded, agreeable and thoughtful young man. Born nearly twenty-seven years ago, Alex was diagnosed with a complex congenital heart defect whilst still in utero. Expecting the worst (what a waste of time), he was born roaring and pink on 11 April 1991. In ICU, he was one of the biggest babies, remained well and was discharged into my care after three or four days. I had to plead for mercy in order to stay in the hospital for another few days so I might have a bit of a holiday rest cure.

Alex has always made his feelings very clear. One of his first acts was to wee in the direction of his cardiologist. Hospitalisations followed regularly. First cardiac surgery at eight weeks old, multiple admissions during his second winter, second cardiac surgery at seventeen months and third cardiac surgery at three years three months.

In between these exciting episodes, we discovered all the tubes in Alex's head were narrow. Tear ducts, eustachian tubes, nasal passages, his throat and jaw were all targetted for intervention over the years. He developed asthma at twelve months. Then came the Big Kahuna - an autism diagnosis at four years of age.

We started an Applied Behavioural Analysis programme with Alex when he was four years three months. There has been a great deal of controversy regarding ABA. We used this method of intensive teaching and reinforcement for two and a half years six days a week. Six two to three-hour sessions daily were coupled with speech therapy, occupational therapy and physiotherapy, daycare and pre-primary. Structured play activities were added to the mix. Alex also attended gymnastics, dancing and social skills groups.

I was a participant in producing a manual for young children with autism developing friendships. I spoke to psychology students, nursing students and educational groups about young children with autism. I presented a stall at a disabilities forum. I created a support group. I championed rights for parents and children with autism in the media. None of this would have been possible with having Alex as my son.

And the outcome? Alex is not a trained seal. He has benefitted enormously from an ABA approach. I am not promoting ABA as a panacea for all families. For us, the programme delivered. At four, Alex had single words only, was not toilet trained, could not feed himself, had no play, no relationships and didn't sleep. He appeared anxious and frightened all the time. Fast forward two and a half years; he had functional language, could dress himself, was toilet trained, had a sense of humour, slept through the night and loved learning. He blossomed like a flower. Yeah, he still is autistic. And that is the fantastic result. Alex is himself. And he is no shrinking violet.

He attends three different churches without seeing any conflict of interest.He loves his personal training at the gym. He is determined to finish his Diploma of Hospitality in due course. He is also undertaking religious studies. He and his legendary support worker Pascal are going to work in his garden when the weather cools down. I've already signed up to help with that. And he is travelling to see his aunt and cousins and attend a convention in Sydney in July. He has participated in some missionary work in Cambodia.

This is not inspiration porn. These are just the achievements of Alex in his twenty-six years on the planet. Alex rang me tonight to tell me he is about to be baptised into the Pentecostal Church. And we talked about his life at the moment. He loves all his tribes. He has empathy. He has love. He has humanity.

Hell hath no fury like me if anybody hurts him or takes advantage of him. When all is going smoothly, I am his proudest supporter. Just never cause him any grief...

Alex learning to surf in 2003