Who Will Rid Us of these Turbulent Mice?!

We are currently at the beginning of the most glorious winter. We've had beautiful mild and sunny weather with very little rain since March.Our local farmers are suffering from climate roulette and trying to add to the soil's moisture content with a few tears.Hopefully, rain will arrive in due course to water the emerging crops.

Unfortunately, the combination of a warm and wet late summer and autumn with plenty of feed has led to a mice explosion of cataclysmic proportions. All across the Wheatbelt, these pesky little creatures are invading all sorts of spaces. If my thumb can fit into a certain spot, then a mouse can as well.

We've had mouses in the couches, mice in the crackers, climbing walls and curtains, popping out of pantries, invading my Tupperware drawers and brazenly bouncing across every floor and surface they can reach. I am convinced that a mouse turned into a diabetic monster after an entire Twix bar was chomped in the East End Gallery.

So, we have all tried every method - crazy or otherwise - to remove these tiny terrorists from our houses and offices. Yes, we are murdering mice any way we can. I am not entirely happy with this scenario but enough is enough. I am fed up with finding small black tapered turds in my used-to-be-clean hovel.

Michael's ingenuity and thriftiness involved one piece of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, superglue and a mousetrap. With this as our primary weapon, we have caught at least twelve mice. Madame Cat has been doing her bit too, but her killing is really rather awful. She tends to leave headless mice lovingly in places we are guaranteed to see. Charming.

Other Beverley Hillbillies are also at war. Pat the Rat, good buddy and superb seafood chef, shares parentage of Tex with his former partner. Tex is a bundle of contradictions. Looking quite fierce with a studded collar, he has the gentlest doggy nature and takes his Teddy to bed every night. However, Tex and mice are a different matter. He hates them with a passion and will hunt them in the beer garden of the pub whilst Pat is enjoying a drink. I have watched Tex and he never gives up. Once he is on the scent, he will not rest until he has caught the mouse and dispatched it with alacrity.

Our builder, John Rozema, really deserves to be in the Hall of Fame as far as mouse disposal is concerned. In a moment of sympathetic insanity, he released a caught mouse on the other side of the railway line from his house. The ungrateful critter then made a beeline back towards his house. John was not impressed and must have the speed of the Six Million Dollar Man, overtook the mouse and caught it. This time, there was no escape.

He outdid himself inside the house as he spied yet another mouse walking across the rammed earth wall. Taking off his thong, he launched it at speed in the direction of the unlucky mouse and scored a direct hit. John - 2, mice - 0. I am in complete awe.

There have been mice drowned, mice fried, mice fed very nasty stuff and mice decapitated. Our hardware store has imported every mousetrap in the known universe. And still, they come.

Our last hope is some decent winter weather to freeze the rest of the mice population. Tonight is going to be quite chilly. So, we live in hope.

And Station House looks as though mice will be unable to enter its interior. Except through the dog door. Bugger.

Stay tuned for updates.

Remember Mr Jinks?

And Pixie and Dixie?

Mousetraps galore!

Ta Da.

Yes we have!