Heavenly Beverley : Shopping at Christmas Time...!

Yesterday, the Beverley Hillbillies bravely ventured away from the safety of the House that Rocks to complete all the shopping we had been going to do on Tuesday. This had not happened as we had fled back to our home after the fiasco at Judy's wake. Michael's self-esteem and mental health had by battered once more by his biological children, particularly the encounter with his son. He needed a day at home.

And so we prepared ourselves for a Return Bout in the Big Smoke. We had the List. We had the MasterCard. We loaded up with refreshments to get us through the day. We departed at the astonishingly early hour of 10 am.

First stop Bunnings. Time to invest in the company, if we had any disposable income. KA - CHING. Buckets of plastering goop, bondcrete, undercoat and some pool chlorine began the day. Then onto lunch with Cal at Bravo's in Victoria Park. Callum had just finished his shift at this lovely little bistro, reserved a table, greeted us, made recommendations, provided witty conversation and then paid for our lunch. What a star.

I was also able to divest a present Callum had bought in Beverley weeks ago. I had forgotten to give him this present on a number of previous occasions, so was pleased to unload it to him. After I left it in the car. Again.

A Kings' ransom was spent at Pet Meat Supplies. We loaded up with 25 kilos of Barfy Burgers (don't laugh; they are actually called this), 50 pigs' ears and 2 packets of chicken tenders for Pip. With a sigh of relief, we turned Goldie eastwards toward Midland.

This is where the fun really started. Rissoles and sausages for our Sundowner at the East End Gallery on Saturday evening. The bottle shop was jammed with customers - at 2 o'clock on a Wednesday afternoon. My success there was spectacular as I stocked up for the wine part of our Wine and Cheese and BBQ Sundowner.

With courage in hand, I tackled the Supermarket at 3 o'clock. I had hoped it would be quieter with Mums supposedly picking up their urchins after school. Michael chickened out. The supermarket writhed with the swell of humanity all trying to get in and get out in one piece. People were remarkably courteous. I was impressed.

Lining up at the dreaded checkout. I struck up a conversation with a young woman behind me. Her trolley was erupting in all directions.She looked done in. We pondered whether to shift lanes or not. An elderly lady in the next checkout appeared to only have a few items. I chanced moving checkouts as the very personable lass said she'd hold my place. And she did. As the senior citizen was fluffing about, I returned to my original spot and thanked her profusely. Now that was a stunning random act of kindness.

I survived the supermarket. The health of my MasterCard was looking a tad shaky. Fortunately, we only had one more stop at Spotlight. The last Christmas presents. Clutching the catalogue in one hand and the 15% additional discount card in the other, I launched into the heaving melting pot of staff, customers and merchandise. I had all my items in 15 minutes flat. Michael's new ottoman was proving difficult to manoeuvre in the pull along trolley and I dropped other, thankfully nonbreakable, items repeatedly The check out was relatively quiet. Two operators and only two in line ahead of me.

Then naturally it all went to hell. The lady in front of me had been overcharged a very obscure amount. She and the operator were attempting to find the mistake. This was proving arduous, messy and drawn out. The line was building behind me. Another operator was summoned. My turn. Hooray. I staggered out with two bags and Michael's ottoman. I decided in a split second it was too difficult to conceal. Merry bloody Christmas, darling Michael. He was very pleased with his early gift.

We arrived home, shattered at 6. I hopped out at the East End Gallery to open for a couple of hours of late night trading. The school presentation night was in full swing so I was not surprised that no guests came into the Gallery. I closed at 8 o'clock.

Two very large glasses of vino (where's a straw when you need one...?) and leftover pizza hit the spot. I retired to bed not much later. I was beyond it. I'd taken pain killers for my stupid shoulder and Michael took a sleeping tablet. We were both out like lights.

We had successfully negotiated Christmas shopping in the burbs. And both of us had a good night's sleep. Bliss!