Heavenly Beverley : Deceiving Weight...!

In my opinion, the English language is ridiculous. There are Rules and then there are Exceptions to the Rules. Grammar can be incomprehensible and personal pronouns are a nightmare to learn. Words that are spelt the same way may have utterly different meanings. There there are variables - British English, American English, Kiwi English and Australian English. Even more confusing is that different words in each Australian state can describe the same item. Polony ( a bland sandwich filler masquerading as meat) is also called luncheon or Devon. A swimming outfit may be referred to as togs, a cossie or bathers, depending on which state a person inhabits. Best of all, cheerio is the curious Queensland noun to describe a small red cocktail sausage...

Last week was a frantic week of one mammoth trip to the Big Smoke, two epics days of rearranging the Giftshop, three slightly desperate days of generalised terror regarding bills and four days of fabulous guests and ripping sales, plus an Open Gallery celebration on Saturday. We even cleared enough money to start paying the rates!

Given this whirling dervish of constant activity, I was innately searching for any humour to lighten the various situations in which we found ourselves.

Tuesday wasn't the best of days, but my black comedy antennae did fire up. An X-ray and visit to the Boy Wonder concerning Michael's troublesome arm were both somewhat bleak. The X-ray showed shadows around his hand bones that are supposed to be fused. The official term used by Ben Kimberley was that Michael's bones had yet to start properly knitting.

My brain immediately posted an image of his three metatarsal bones trying to knit. I mean, honestly, DUH. How can bones knit when they don't have tiny hands of their own or tiny knitting needles or tiny threads of yarn. Or maybe some ancient nano-crone is supposed to materialise into his hand to repair the damage with a supply of wool sourced from a nano-Spotlight (aka Fantastic Voyage).

Which led to slightly more doom and gloom. The spectre of more surgery was thrown into the mix. If this comes to pass, our hero surgeon could just use a tiny knitting machine and do the job properly!

*sigh*

Fortunately, the week did improve after Tuesday's disappointment. Hairdresser and Hairdresser's Apprentice to the Stars, Kerryanne and Lindsey were able to deposit some rent into our account. Suddenly we were saved (in an immediate financial sense) and bills that had been sitting awkwardly semi-ignored were able to be paid. Yippee for small mercies.

Thursday saw the beginning of our "working" week in the East End Gallery. Artists Play Day has settled into two regular attendees - Jan and James - along with Michael as a semi-regular. Great endeavour and activity were photographed for posterity by our three artists. Guests began flowing into the Gallery as well but giving no indication of the human deluge about to happily hit us.

Friday saw an injection of our supply of Southern Wheatbelt Art Directories. This is a terrific publication featuring fifteen shires from Beverley and Quairading down to Lake Grace and Kulin. Unfortunately, I had allowed our guides to Run Out, just prior to our Open Gallery event. I picked up some extras from the Shire Offices, York artist Katie West dropped off more and then a parcel arrived from Casey Thornton of Arts Narrogin with the intriguing sidenote of "Deceiving Weight".

My interest was immediately piqued. What were the parcel's evil intentions? Or not? What was so deceiving about the weight of the art directories? Were they known for giving misleading information or telling downright porky pies? And what about the possible alternative of "Shifting Weight"? Does this mean that the parcel shifts from side to side with downcast eyes? Maybe the deceiving led to the inevitable shiftiness? I was left gasping with scenarios...

Which reminded me once more of the foolishness of this language spoken by so many of the world's population. Always open to interpretation and innuendo (which of course is Italian!)

And our weekend of impending busyness is a story unto itself...

Stay tuned!