The set topic for this get together was "Belief" and I intuitively sailed through my memories to my darling Dad. He and I were intrinsically linked by his beliefs and my belief in him that has led to the formation of many of my own beliefs. Which continue today and beyond. Who knew that belief could be hereditary?
Dad taught me so many valuable lessons. The importance of family, demonstrated by our mutual cups of morning tea from when I was about four. Of patience, of perseverance, of honour, of dignity. Of unconditional love, which held him to his adored wife, my Mum, even when she was irrational and unreasonable.
Of the love of language. The rules of spelling and grammar. The joy and wisdom of an encyclopaedia, a dictionary and a thesaurus. Dad read to me every bedtime until I was ten. He had done the same for my brothers. He introduced me to literature great and simple. Only after we stopped did I realise just how much that private world and daily ritual meant to me.
He was not a hands-on practical or sporting Dad. He didn't play with us as such. This was never done out of malice; he just preferred to be in Mum's orbit. Much later, when Dad was in his seventies and beyond, we would go out together when I visited them and recapture that early intimacy.
He was also adventurous. A bright pink shirt rescued from the St Vinnies' bag, awe and enthusiasm with the internet, yoga that kept him flexible well into his eighties. He was interested in everyone and everything. He adored shopping, especially for clothes. When he could no longer travel, he did so with his mind, through his passion for books.
His honesty and loyalty were legendary. He barracked for his beloved Melbourne Football Club all his life. As far as I am aware, he never lied or fudged the truth. Ever. That was why he remained with the love of his life, even when she sometimes treated him with such indifferent shabbiness.
Dad hated confrontation and kept his own counsel, uncritical unless he felt forced to act in the best interests of others. There was a simple order in his love and his life, Mum first, us, extended family and friends.
That Mum eventually left him alone actually provided him with a silver lining in the last months of his ninety-two years. He was reunited with my brother, Michael, as were the rest of us. I will never forget Dad's face lit by unrehearsed happiness when Michael strode into his room. He was granted his greatest unspoken wish - to be with all his children before he died two years ago.
And I think that Dad's tenacity to live for this goal provided my most powerful beliefs of all. Do not waste time. See and hold and love your family and friends. Be as kind as possible. And always enjoy an evening glass of vino.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
Dad with Michael...
Still witty...
All the ladies loved him!
With David...
And Dad's last birthday...
No comments:
Post a Comment