For Teagan

All of those who read my posts are aware that I usually try to see the lighter side of life. Having had my share of misfortune, I do, more often than not, attempt to accentuate the positive spin. There are times, however, when my natural optimism is not appropriate.

This is one of those times.

Teagan Hudson was a lovely, happy, good-natured and adoring mum to Micah and wife to Damian. She had just turned thirty-five. She was a member of the Salvation Army. She strived to help the community. She was an avid attendee of the Beverley Swimming Pool. She worked with disadvantaged children. She was a Tupperware devotee and distributor. She was treasurer of Beverley Playgroup. She was expecting her next baby and had held a gender party last weekend. This baby, due next year, was a much-anticipated brother to Micah.

Teagan was killed in a single-vehicle crash just outside Beverley last Wednesday evening. Being a country town, local volunteer fire and rescue and ambos were first on the scene.

I am in awe of these volunteers. They were called upon to assist a young woman whom they knew, in dreadful circumstances. I can't begin to imagine what went through their heads; what is still going through their heads. All I can do is offer my profound gratitude. Nothing more.

Teagan's death has affected me deeply. My beliefs have been significantly shaken. I view God as part of the universe, a loving and caring supreme being overseeing us all. How can I reconcile that view when people like Teagan die and there are so many other drop-kicks who still live?

I guess there will be other doors waiting to be opened, somewhere in the future. But at present, my heart goes out to Damian, who is riding that monstrous and unpredictable wave of raw grief. Finding himself a single father to a toddler and having to care for him whilst his heart has broken. Eventually, the wave becomes less daunting. However, grief will ebb and flow forever more. That is the nature of being human.

We are so lucky to be living in Heavenly Beverley. The town has rallied around Teagan's family. Two GoFundMe campaigns have raised funds for her funeral and other current expenses for Damian and Micah. Food has been delivered for Damian, Micah and any visitors to the home. The Beverley Swimming Pool has its flag at half-mast for Teagan. Stories and tributes have poured onto Facebook.

As for me, I cherish my memories of an invariably cheerful and bouncy young woman who always waved as she passed the East End Gallery. Who would drop in her Tupperware pamphlets from time to time. Who was bursting with pride and love for her little boy. And had also coped with her fair share of adversity. First, the possibility of never having her own children. Then a pregnancy loss. Finally, Micah's birth, a baby who is like God. Then this year, a promise of a sibling for Micah and another baby for Teagen and Damian to love.

The tragedy of Teagan's death has acted as a sudden brake for me. A chance to reevaluate and ponder. What is really important in my life? What is really important in all our lives?

Over the last days, I have contacted all my brothers. Two conversations in twenty-four hours to Michael in far north Queensland. Messenger chat with Simon whilst he was reporting on a nearby bushfire! Facebook post to David this morning, just to send him love.

And being reminded to love my children will every fibre in my being. Wishing them every happiness as they journey through their lives. Not missing opportunities to see them or speak with them.

As for my beloved husband, I cherish and adore Michael like there is no tomorrow. Listening to the occasional snore coming from our bedroom, whilst he nanna-naps after a series of brutally hot days. Enjoying the mundane of the washing machine and dishwasher carrying out their respective tasks. The simple pleasure of watering our garden and relishing the summer growth and flowers. Leaving bowls of water out for birds so they can cool off and have reliable drinking sources.

To quote Nikki Gemmell, "I hope my kids remember those humble...nights gathered around the telly watching 'The Masked Singer'...when their swamped parents put a brake on everything and gathered them in their arms, and laughed. Together."

Or perhaps more simply, Emma Thompson in 'Last Christmas' - "Love is the best tool you have."

Please hug your children. Talk to your Mum and Dad. Let past mistakes go. Connect with old friends. Sniff the flowers. Eat the cake. Wear your best undies.

Live, love and laugh. As Teagan did.

With Damian

Her family...

At play...

As a Salvo...

At work!

Now with her God.