Heavenly Beverley : Love Knows No Bounds.

I am beginning to view the House that Rocks in an entirely different light. I believe that we are operating a very comfortable retirement home for the unsteady, the deranged, the arthritic, the incontinent and the vacant.

Michael has now been retired from paid work since June 2010. He does appear to be working as hard as he ever has in his life, except he is his own boss, works at his own pace and doesn't keep pushing himself when he becomes very unwell. So we can work in medical appointments for him as needed. And we can take time off.

As for me, if I was a horse, I'm sure I would have been shot by now. I carry injuries for several reasons - from physically moving Alex in the early days of intervention, for being whacked twice by students and from a particularly spectacular fall onto very hard concrete. And as the Department of Education and I did not part of the best of terms, I have joined the most unlikely profession - that of a gallery curator.

Sascha, having reached the vast age of 13 (for a Weimaraner) continues to totter around the back yard. Her gut is abominable and she has ongoing issues with Light Bladder Leakage. She is capable of unexpected bursts of liveliness on our semi-regular walks and still enjoys her food very much indeed.

Pip, aged 9, shows no signs yet of slowing down and does suffer from small dog syndrome. He loves strutting bravely out in front on walks, only to scuttle to the safety of Michael's and my legs if a particularly aggressive leaf tries to attack him. He is still our beacon of alertness. And may move rapidly onto being alarmed.

And Ruby...how does one describe the ageing of a dog who has disliked exercise since early adulthood. Ruby was born old. She does have some rather unusual tendencies to go along with her natural vacantness.She far prefers her own company. She does not like standing. She rarely plays with the other dogs. She is very protective of her backside. The only time we can guarantee she'll move is if one of us pokes her around her tail. Then she is actually capable of taking off like a rocket. Her favourite pastime, after sleeping, is to sit in the sun in our backyard with no expression whatsoever on her face. If you look closely, I'm sure you would see daylight through her ears.

Then there is our guest, Muddy an arthritic 10-year-old red heeler. Muddy is pretty solid and does suffer from arthritis in his lower back. Hence, he finds the process of elimination fairly uncomfortable and energy consuming. Having said that, he is also capable of short bursts of speed, rather like a rotund cheetah.

Muddy and Ryan were absent for a few days earlier in the week. On their return, Sascha recognised, in an instant, her One True Love. Before we could shout "outside, you two" a love-in was in full swing under the dining table, around our legs with lustful spurts of excitement. Eventually, they got the hint and retired to the garden for more hanky panky.

That Sascha was reclining on the ground made Muddy's manoeuvring much easier. And as time went on, old joints warmed up, energy levels were at a high and Sascha and Muddy were finally able to consummate their love in the usual stance of a boy dog loving a girl dog. Muddy's face was split into the biggest grin I'd ever seen on a heeler. Sascha was flirting coquettishly and teasingly twirling around him. A few more shots and they'd both had it. This was one of the funniest episodes I have ever seen from both of them.

When I came out of the shower, Sascha was collapsed inelegantly in her bunk. Ruby and Pip were both viewing her with some astonishment from the other bed. And Muddy had retired to the couch. All he required was a smoking jacket, a cigar and a sherry and he would have looked the part of a suave gentleman around town.