- that I don't like hospitals at all. Having had yet another skin cancer cut off the end of my nose yesterday (so attractive!) and receiving a drug cocktail to sedate me, I have no desire to visit another hospital for as long as possible.
- that getting old sucks. This is a Truth that is usually responsible for unwelcome and unwanted trips to aforementioned hospitals!
- that barbecuing myself every summer until I was sixteen has led to the appearance of so many skin cancers now, which in turn has necessitated visits to hated hospitals and insertion of nasty needles!
- that barbecuing thongs (flip flops) on the edge of an open fire in the bush in order to dry them will cause them to melt instead.
- that wrapping damper in alfoil inside a cast iron pot on an open fire is essential, if the damper is to emerge from the cooking process a golden brown colour. If this procedure is not followed, the damper will resemble a coal black, crispy football that may be kicked for some distance!
- that two fires are necessary when undertaking bucket baths in the Goldfields. The tarp is carefully placed on the ground between the two fires in order to prevent bums from becoming cold during open air bathing.
- that a plastic tarp, used as a windbreak, will melt if the chairs used to secure it blow over and the tarp ends up in the campfire.
- that dead things, such as kangaroo carcasses, smell...
- that I must be a complete idiot, as I always faithfully follow Michael to where dead things smell.
- that a campfire purely of sandalwood will neutralise the smell of dead things.
- that campfires always blow up with tremendous amounts of erupting ash when extinguished with a kettle of water - usually all over me.
- that a 25 litre water container, balanced precariously on a pile of bricks, will fall with a tremendous thump in the early hours of the morning, guaranteeing to scare the willies out of me.
- that the 25 litre water container does not like being pulled by its spout and will resemble a Dutch dyke without the little boy's thumb in it!
- that yelling "Help! Michael!" generally has the desired effect of my husband to come running to see what I've broken this time.
- that my legs are shorter than Michael's and trying to vault a barbed wire fence after him will result in great pain - for me.
- that Michael probably has enough medical knowledge now from dealing with my unfortunate but entirely predictable disasters to set up a mobile first aid clinic!
- that the unmistakable cry of "that went well!" will continue to highlight the latest foreseeable but unexpected act of foolishness.
- that laptop computers don't like red wine...!
That last Eternal Truth was revisited last night, much to my amusement, as Michael was responsible, rather than me! Which just goes to prove another Eternal Truth - that disaster is catching, rather like a cold!
In our element, in the glow of a campfire.
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