Heavenly Beverley : What's Great About Becoming Older?

This is rather a pertinent question at present. I am sitting in front of my laptop with a bloody heat pack wedged between my chair and my lower back. I have, at last, started loading humongous amounts of essentials into Will, our trusty A -Liner, who is of course, willing and able. Our departure date for our 2024 Great Escape is fast approaching and I have been trying to attend to this task for the last two weeks.

The result is that I will have an aching back for the duration of this activity. Which will mean some testiness on my part, liberal application of various creams, the frequent use of the heat pack, regular daily doses of Panadol and copious glasses of vino. For medicinal purposes, only, you understand.

The other day, Michael was complaining about some difficulty heaving a fifteen kilo pack of welding wire out of the car. In the "olden days", he would just lift such weights with ease... I reminded him of his "old fart" status. He was not amused...I think he lost his sense of humour. (Maybe another casualty of becoming ag-ed.)

Ringing each other's phones. Endless hunts for our keys, wallets and water bottles. Discovering lunch on our clothing when we go to wear that piece for a second day. Worse still, having to re-wash tee shirts/shirts/dresses/jumpers when the stain didn't come out during the first cycle.

Forgetting tablets temporarily or for the entire day. Accidentally launching tablets across the room to be snaffled by one of the canine clowns. Ringing the vet to make sure that the consumed medication won't kill the dog...Wondering whose tablet is on the floor after the dogs have left it in a gooey mess.

Getting exhausted by one activity. Or driving to the Big Smoke and back and feeling like just crawling into bed. Not wanting to arise from that bed because the morning is too cold. Entering into open combat with the dogs who love nicking our Ugg boots and parading around the room.

WTF is today? Wednesday (I hope)? Being a Luddite, my hard copy calendar is my best friend. If an appointment/checking funds for a direct debit/outing or making a return text/phonecall/email is not on the calendar, then that important piece of information doesn't exist. Going shopping? Where the hell did I put my list?

Finally, please allow me a minor vent of spleen regarding online forms. This morning, I spent two and a half hours filling in an application for the East End Gallery to join the Australian Tourism Data Warehouse. (Which, of course is not an actual warehouse, rather a virtual thingumabob. Which marketing buffoon decided to call this online site a warehouse?!) I swung wildly from panic to irritation to bewilderment to disbelief. When I finally finished the process, my nerves were shot and my get-up-and-go had got-up-and-left. When are these savvy online designers realise that some of us were born BEFORE THE INTERNET EVEN EXISTED?

Is there ANYTHING positive about becoming older? Hell, yeah!

Feeling superior around all the yahoos and ferals. We have been there, done that, survived and have become rather smug about still being alive.

Startling the young with knowledge, insight and history. Amazing them that we are not doddery old fools, but still have important dialogue, and even more outrageously, engage logically and relatively calmly in debates about life, ourselves and the world (without any violence...)

Feigning ignorance or stupidity to gain attention and hopefully intelligible solutions to incomprehensible problems. Even if the issue is unsolvable, at least I have annoyed somebody else...

Giving call centres limited time to answer me before dialing the complaints number and dumping the problem on them. In addition, going straight to the complaints line when I have no idea what the "Options" mean in their slack and lazy messages.

Being utterly immune to embarrassment. I am too old to give a shit about what most people think about me. On rare occasions, I might squirm in my shoes when I have been a complete fool, but I can always blame creeping dementia...

Loving the opportunity to take naps. During the morning, at noon or in the afternoon. At long last, Nanny naps have become perfectly acceptable.

Eating what I enjoy. At my stage in life, I am no longer trying to fit into a little black dress next Saturday night. Yes!

Becoming very eclectic in my choice of clothing. I have recently discovered Keshet, a very colourful fashion label based in Tasmania. Keshet shows their clothing on real models...aka not stick figures. Seeing the clothes on big girls allowed me to make informed decisions about how they would look on me.

Ecstatic at being a Nanny. I was not particularly maternal with my children as I was running an army camp, particularly so after Alex began his intensive home programme. Now, as Nanny Kate, I am reveling in my role as a disgustingly silly and adoring grandmother. How brilliant is that? PS I adore my sons and daughter-in-law.

Spending time with my beloved Michael. We have been soul mates, best friends, lovers and partners for the last fifteen years. We share our passions, yet we also have quite specific different interests. Which allow us time apart, even though we still might be together in the house. Within the East End Gallery, we complement each other.