My Musings on "Mental as..."

We are concluding Mental Health Week tomorrow. This is a chance to get involved, become aware, increase the community's knowledge about mental illness and reduce the stigma. Yes, I know. It's only one week. How much good does the media exposure actually achieve? What about the endless failings of the mental health system? And what about the one in two of us - that's right - the fifty percent of Australians who will experience mental illness in our lifetimes?

I have had a mental illness since my late teens. Michael's mental health broke down in 2010. I deliberately did not choose the term "suffer" (from a mental illness). Because my recurrent depression and associated anxiety are part of me. They manifest as the Black Dog, waiting to join with me when my guard is down. But the Black Dog is also responsible for teaching me more about me and my life. I always learn more after the Black Dog has snapped at my heels. I grant you, these are not pleasant episodes.

I had a major depressive episode earlier this year. I have no idea what triggered this latest descent into the well. My mood just moved lower and lower, very quickly. I was distraught, confused, frightened and alone. I was terrified Michael would leave me. I was sure I would have to be admitted to hospital. From the sanctuary of my dining table, I sent a distress call to Perth Clinic, a private psychiatric hospital and centre. Fortunately, I managed to get an appointment to see a new psychiatrist relatively quickly.

She turned out to be extraordinarily compassionate and empathetic and intelligent and witty. And expensive. This is one of the huge issues facing people who are mentally ill. Access to affordable, quality care in a short timeframe. We just charged her consult to our credit card.

Over the next six months, she took both Michael and me in hand. She sorted our medications very efficiently and smoothed out most side effects and problems.She was also an excellent therapist, offering us suggestions and alternatives to all our mental health issues. And last week, we graduated from her care.

This was such cause for celebration. The appointments with her came in the middle of a very hectic day in the Big Smoke, but we were still stoked. She just reminded us to refer our GP to her reports if we needed a review.

So, the Black Dog is currently sleeping. I am pretty sure that I will continue to experience return visits by the Black Dog. Michael may too. Each time, my recovery is a little better, a little stronger. I am so bloody grateful for that. I hope to become more aware of warning signs. The Black Dog may be my shadow, but I hope to keep "nipping" its influence in the bud.

Which brings me back to "Mental As". The lack of services, the waiting lists, the damage to lives, the effects on families and the agony that is mental illness is horrendous. But in the midst of all this, there is some good.

We watched "Changing Minds" a three-part series focusing on Mark Cross, a psychiatrist and the locked mental health units at Campbelltown Hospital in Sydney.  The stories were funny, insightful, tragic, harrowing and riveting. The main theme was young people living with mental illness, their triumphs, their sadness and their individual circumstances. This was not easy television to watch. The programmes brought up thoughts and feelings in us both. But, we were grateful to have watched "Changing Minds". There are times we feel very isolated. This week, during "Mental As", we were part of a much broader community.

There is no perfect solution. There will probably never be sufficient services. The system will continue to fail the vulnerable. But, if nothing else, "Mental As" week took me off the couch and wondering about others, who are like me. Who also have a mental illness.

Many thanks to the ABC, "Changing Minds" and Mark Cross. Please keep up the good work.

The Black Dog visiting...

fighting the blackness...

thank you, ABC...

and my mantra to remember, particularly when I'm unwell.