To Sleep or Not to Sleep - That is the Question.

Yesterday, Michael and I motored down to the Big Smoke to participate in a Sleep Study. The instructions were clear - be there by 7.30pm, follow our normal evening routine as far as possible, and prepare for sleep with enough electrodes attached to our heads to give forty three volts in every cup. Plus, nasal probes, a mouth "horn", a snore microphone, leg movement monitors, finger oximeter  and two belts around chest and tummy. What a fabulous way to induce restful slumber.

We tried to prepare for the event by downing copious volumes of vino. We'd had to eat before we arrived at the Sleep Lab. First snag. In summer, we rarely have dinner before eight o'clock, as we're in the garden until sundown.Upon entry, we filled out more paperwork, chilled together for a couple of hours and then prepared to be wired for sound in separate rooms. Second snag. We rarely sleep apart.

Then we hoped we would drift into cloud cuckoo land. Third snag. Interesting concept - trying to fall asleep with enough wiring glued to our bodies to power most of Perth. And in total darkness. Fourth snag. We have no curtains in our bedroom so there is always some light. No cat on the bed for Michael to stroke all night - fifth snag. The piece de resistance is sixth snag - having to be unhooked in order to have a pee. Or worse still, in Michael's case - not being able to bend your head enough to aim accurately at the porcelain.

This was one of the worst nights sleep ( or lack of sleep) I have ever endured. I was disorientated by the blackness of the room, disturbed by the additional prongs up my hooter, distinctly uncomfortable with all the additional equipment I had to manoeuvre if I rolled over and dismayed by the difficulty of trying to go to the loo. I also was cold, then hot, then cold again and needed to take painkillers at some stage for my chronic tennis elbow, which I have now developed in both arms.

When morning arrived, announced by one of the lovely staff opening my door, my almost immediate reaction was relief that the night was over. If anything, Michael had endured an even worse night that me. He had been wakeful and restless and the Sleep Study nurses, Toni and Anthea, had let him sleep a bit longer than they would ordinarily have done. I was really grateful for their empathy and consideration.

We then had to exit the facility post haste. Neither Michael nor me are particularly productive in the morning, so this task of showering, dressing, packing up and departing at speed was not easy.Somewhat shattered, we stopped at Bunnings to collect some plants and had a fairly ordinary breakfast.

After our usual city list of activities and purchases, we arrived home mid afternoon. Vanessa, with friend Jacinta, had held the fort at the Houser that Rocks overnight. We were never so grateful to pull up into our driveway. I pray that our Sleep Studies produce the necessary data. Because we are never going to go through another one again!

zzzzzzzz........