Easter has been rapidly followed by birthday celebrations for my beloved sons, Callum and Alex.
Cal turned thirty-four yesterday and is possibly one of the coolest blokes I shall ever meet. And no, I am not biased. Married to the stunning strawberry blonde Bronwyn, Callum's happiness is radiant with the recent arrival of his second gorgeous little girl, Violet Ella. She is the baby sister to Imogen Ivy, making him the adored and adoring Daddy of his two beautiful daughters. I am forever grateful to Bron, for taking Cal "in hand", putting up with his boundless energy, his stubbornness, his endless quest for perfection, his rare flashes of anger and his occasional lapses of self-belief.
I swear Callum was born with a smile on his dial. In fact, he was born with the easiest of dispositions, except when others tried to push him ahead of his decided pace. He took two weeks to learn how to breastfeed and then took to my milk with gusto. When he was about three, he sagely commented that he had "flat boobies", his Dad had "hairy boobies" and I had "long boobies". I bloody well know why I developed long boobies. As a baby, but ever curious, he would often take my nipple around the corner of my body to check out what was happening behind. Naturally without taking a break from the serious business of filling his tummy!
He walked around furniture from eight months of age but didn't walk without support until he was seventeen months old. He was relatively late learning toilet training as well, but like stepping out, he waited until he was perfect at the process. Always on the move, he needed his afternoon naps until he was in pre-primary. He was very social and loved daycare and the early years of school. Unfortunately, his quick intelligence and natural intellect was not appreciated by some of the yobbos in upper primary school and high school. Karate and then ballroom dancing provided him with outlets for his energetic soul and much needed interactions with like-minded kids. University allowed him to blossom once more.
He was the ideal brother and unofficial carer to Alex from the age of two. I can only remember him getting cranky with Al once or twice, usually focused on the edible reinforcements we used for Alex's therapy sessions. As far as Cal was concerned, his brother was allowed to consume a chocolate bar every day (over a two hour period) for completing tasks Callum thought were simple.
When Cal was seven, we extended the house so all the children could finally have their own rooms. I also used to cut myself into small pieces so I could take out the other two separately whilst Alex was occupied with a therapist. Times with Callum on his own were always special.
And as his Mum, he has delighted me with his obvious love and attention. He still asks me for advice and will often ring me on his way to his dance teacher gig on a Tuesday evening. Thank you, Cal, for your thirty-four years of being a terrific son.
Alex is our Autistic Superstar. Diagnosed with a congenital heart defect prior to birth, we knew his childhood would be different to the others. We just weren't quite prepared for how much difference would materialise over the years. We added asthma to the list in his second year, followed by developmental delay, ADHD, low muscle tone and right sided weakness. Autism was diagnosed when he was four years and seven months. Chronic Anxiety reared its head as a result of Autism. Multiple procedures were needed for his tear ducts, nose, throat, ears, jaw and teeth. Three lots of cardiac surgery. Two cardiac catheters. Scoliosis and feet fractures. Last year, his Acquired Brain Injury (which probably occurred during or following his second cardiac surgery) was confirmed when he was thirty one years old. Difficulties with language processing, comprehension and with conversation. Problems with temperature regulation. Heart Arrhythmia. And this year, Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnoea, requiring treatment with a CPAP device.
In spite of all these challenges life has thrown at him, Alex is an enthusiastic, generous, funny and caring young man. He loves working as a Cafe Attendant and received Employee of the Year at Alinea in 2022. His religious views and other opinions can sometimes get him into trouble with others, but he is open to suggestions and help from his therapists, work supervisors, his fantastic Support Worker Pascal and NDIA Support Coordinators Shannon and Ciaran. He never gives up and he always tries hard.
Alex turned thirty-two on Tuesday and we had lunch with him at his workplace. All the staff sang "happy birthday" to him. The pleasure on his face was priceless. And even though I bought him the incorrect sized sheets and quilt cover for his bed, he was still copious with his thanks and we worked out how to use the majority of the items. Our relationship is the best we have experienced in years. He listens and considers my opinions and I listen and consider his. We avoid certain topics by mutual consent, but because I have been seeing him weekly for the last month, we are having conversations which are flowing freely and easily.
He loves the beach in summer and attends the gym twice a week for his fitness. He has a busy social life with his church friends, who have become his tribe. He tries out different activities with Pascal and is continuing to improve his unit and garden with assistance. He is punctual to appointments and is respectful with his doctors and paramedical staff.
He strives to be the best son, stepson, grandson, brother and uncle that he can. He is loved by us all.
Wishing our boys the happiest of years to come.
